Husbands love your wives and wives respect your husbands is the admonition of the apostle Paul to the church at Ephesus (Eph. 5.25; 33). He would also say this, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6.4). “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Eph. 6.1). Many more passages could be cited for having the proper love and respect in the home. Just as the home is to be a place of spiritual security and physical safety, it should also be a haven for others to find comfort and care from a hostile world. The home should mimic the refuge the church of Christ is for the world to run to. Our neighbors and friends should see the wisdom of God practiced in our homes daily so God will be glorified.

The proper love and respect in the home begins with God being at the center of the husband and wife relationship. This is paramount if the home is going to flourish and be what God would have it to be. This is why everyone in the home must see the need and purpose of being respectful to one another and to the God of heaven. How can we accomplish this today? The man of the home should lead the charge in reading the scripture privately and with the family on a consistent basis (Josh. 24.15). Joshua took the lead in making sure his family was going to serve the LORD. This is key for many rea-sons and needs to be in the forefront of our minds. If love and respect for the word of God is before the family, then the family will love and respect one another.

How can we ensure the home has the proper love and respect for one another? It requires the head being intentional. Being the head of anything, especially the home, is a monumental task to say the least (Eph. 5.23). This challenge to lead is vital to the growth and development of the family and requires God’s help and the head’s humility. He must be a husband and father of faith, prayer and consistency to begin. Paul told the brethren to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thess. 5.17). This is necessary as a man in any society but especially the family. Being fervent in prayer and faith not only affects all members of the home spiritually but influences the mood, attitude and direction of the home. These things must be done consistently and with confidence.

Respect in the home is valuable as well because it demonstrates the honor one has for the other. Respect is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. When God is respected (the English Bibles translate this into the word fear) then we see the wife honoring the husband and encouraging his decisions. When respect is in the home, members watch their attitudes and words towards one another. Paul would say this, “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one” (Col. 4.6). How we speak to one another is predicated on how we see God and each other in the home. Brethren, our words must be used to build up and not tear down. We have to put one another in the best possible position to succeed in the home and society.

What are some great ways to show the proper love and respect for one another? We can pay attention to one another. Loving one another as we love ourselves is a great place to begin (Matt. 22.37-39). Simply doing what is best for each other in our four walls (figuratively speaking) can be exemplified in seeking something nice to do for another or even being willing to exercise vulnerability. When we are desiring to be heard in the home, we can seek opportunities to communicate respectfully and honestly to come to the right resolution if that is the case. Not only is paying attention needed, but simple faithfulness to one another is necessary to maintain harmony and love in the home.

As the family of God in the Lord’s church, we need faithfulness and clearmindedness. “God is faithful” (1 Cor. 1.9). His faithfulness must be implemented in our homes through our diligent striving to keep unfaithfulness out of the home. We have to guard the conscience of our children. Parents, be faithful to your children and beware of the unfaithful influences that are attempting to carry them away from the cross of Christ. Solomon said this, “Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life” (Pro. 4.23). Anything that hinders or thwarts faithfulness in the family must be confronted, addressed and banned from the home. We must be faithful to the home.

Finally, as we initiate, develop and maintain the proper love and respect in the home, we have to keep the goal in the forefront of our minds. That goal is heaven, where our crown of life is located (2 Tim. 4.8) and where we will see the face of God in peace (Rev. 22.4). Let us do our part as the family to show genuine love and respect for each other and our amazing God in heaven. May the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, be with us all as we learn to be like His Son Jesus Christ (Eph. 1.17). God is True.